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Oscars and It Girls
It’s Oscar night. That means you have three entertainment choices: Watch the Oscars, tune in to AMC’s basic-cable juggernaut The Walking Dead, or, in a fit of damn-it-all-to-Hell whimsy, read this bit...
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‘Jack the Giant Slayer’ Ruined This Review
I was so ready to trash this movie with my devastating wittiness. The title of this piece was going to be “Jack Squat,” and the opening line was going to be, “Irony is a movie about merciless giants...
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REVIEW: Oz, the Shiny and Hollow
In Oz the Great and Powerful, James Franco plays a huckster magician who must pass himself off as a genuine wizard to scare away a bunch of witches. Also in Oz the Great and Powerful, a bunch of gaudy,...
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Listen Up, Scott Gimple, New “Walking Dead” Showrunner
First of all, who the hell came up with the word “showrunner”? Didn’t this job used to be called “producer”? When I hear showrunner, I think of the shiny tassels hanging from the base of a parade float...
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Trashing Rooms at the Bates Motel
I was all set to write about the much-hyped and allegedly scandalous new A&E series Bates Motel this week, until I watched it. I sat there going, “Huh. How about that,” for an hour. If you plan to...
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Little Orphan Blackie
Storytellers are ever on a quest for two things: A great opening and an even better hook. So, as a writer, I had no choice but to sit back and admire the hell out of John Fawcett and Graeme Manson’s...
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REVIEW: Mayhem and Metaphor in ‘Evil Dead’
If you want fans to like your horror movie, do one thing: deliver on your promise. The genre has always operated that way. If you show a guy in a hockey mask on the poster holding a machete and...
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Cotton Candy Chic
In the old days of movies and TV, before Star Wars and CG effects and $150 million budgets, the future was often portrayed as a place where people drove low-riding, sleek, outer-spacey cars and wore...
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Five Minutes in the Sin Bin
Welcome to the annual PFC sports report, an event in which a webzine run by a bunch of artsy filmmakers, actors, musicians, and fashion experts discusses sweaty, muscular men for reasons other than the...
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11 Mothers Who Are Even Worse Than Yours
Ah, Mother’s Day. That annual event in which you pretend to be grateful for all the psychological damage your mother has inflicted upon you from day one of your helpless, flailing existence. She’ll...
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Judge Not, Lest Ye Be Wearing a Bra
Have you heard? Starting next season, American Idol will go by the name of Celebrity Judge, since that is apparently the only thing people give a shit about anymore on that show. Perhaps I made that...
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Rockers are Doing It for Themselves
Writer and interesting guy David J. Skal once wrote that different personality types can be represented by well-known monsters from film and literature. For example, a guy who treats you like gold at...
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Irrational Hatred of My Irrational Hatred
Can you do it? Can you bear the following six words without storming off in anger or labeling me a heretic? Consider it a test of your fortitude. I’m talking about these six words: I can’t freaking...
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Lemmy Must Not Die
Don Henley must die. So sang rockabilly punk-rocker Mojo Nixon on the 1990 album Otis, released during the height of Henley’s popularity as a solo artist. I don’t quite agree with the sentiment (I’m...
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The Essential Art of Not Taking Offense
A recent controversy surrounding the stand-up comedy group All-India Bakchod (‘fuck senseless’) caused them to take down an inflammatory video of a roast they did from YouTube. My Hindi is...
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Power Chord of the Living Dead
I hurried into the local department store to grab1 some last minute Chirsmas gifts. I looked at all the people and grumbled2 to myself. I 1Z0-061 vce 210-260 home lab files would Cisco 300-320 Exam...
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The Tosh Pit
Warning: I’m about to be condescending to the simple-minded. Unfortunately, they do not read PFC, so please forward this article if you know any of them. I’ve tried to settle controversies “once and...
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Dear NRA: Shut Up.
Two events that occurred in movie theaters made the news this week, and I’m not sure the details surrounding them say good things about our so-called “American Values.” In the first event, a likable,...
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HUMOR: Is the NYPD Fucking with Me?
You got to where you are now largely because of decisions, large and small, that you’ve made. Sometimes it’s obvious. Like, when you stabbed that guy in the neck because he made fun of The Carpenters,...
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Jurassic Jersey
Let’s go ahead and admit that we’re both sick to death of this stupid Chick-Fil-A story that won’t go away and then talk about something else. Do you know what that something is? Animatronic dinosaurs!...
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